So, update. It's been almost a week and basically nothing is happening at all! haha. Figured wouldn't be anything to report but there's literally nothing to report. I'm down to 238.0 So still losing weight, it may just be my imagination but it's getting harder to stay at 1000 calories intake. Before 800 would be no problem. Also been having some small dizzy spurts when I stand up quickly, can't decide if this is from hypoglycemia or the Spironolactone, or the E or all of the above, But man is it annoying. Was expecting some soreness or mood swings by now but all is well. I'm starting to think that maybe my initial dosage was a little low intentionally, which is fine. (I have no idea how one little 1ml injection is supposed to last two weeks, but I'm not a doctor.) But anyhow, looking forward to incoming changes still.

It's here.

It's here.  First day of my new life. Well... the first real step on it anyway. Got my vial of estradiol Valera today in the mail. Gonna dose myself later c: my aunt who is a nurse is gonna double check the way I do everything tonight. But wish me luck!

Everything is amazing.

So last night I came out to my mom and explained to her that I was going to be transitioning. She was absolutely blown away but very supportive. It was one of the most difficult things ive ever done. But it was such a huuuuge weight off my shoulders not having to hide it from her anymore and now I can talk about all kinds of things. 

But! Just when I thought all that was amazing my mom calls and tells my grandparents who are super old school... and they took it even better! Its sp so amazing to have the support of my whole family behind me, now for my girlfriends family and maybe some friends haha... to think this is really happening is almost surreal.

One week update

Weekly update: so its been a week and things are going well. Have another appointment today to check my bloodwork. Excited. Have lost 6 pounds in a week and am feeling great.  30 mins of exercise 5 nights a week and about 900 calories a day. Also weekly picture:P

100mg spiro

So today was my first day on 100mg spiro... feel fine really. Was a bit moody at work but probably because my boss was a complete asshole. Felt my eyes get teary a couple times like I was gonna cry but I didnt feel like I needed to cry. Probably just a result of the frustration. Anyhow, so far ao good. 800 calories finishing out the day. No hunger no problem. 400 calorie bodyweight exercise as well. Kick ass day :)

It's official! First dose of HRT today. Just strting off on Spiro, will be getting muscular injections of E shortly. Already paid for everything. Pretty dang excited. First dose here in a few minutes!

FYI. This was done through Planned Parenthood. Very good experience. Went to a location here in California, requested the services, they were very respectful, perhaps too sensitive even haha... But you fill out a buttload of paperwork, do some bloodwork, learn how to stab yourself in the leg repeatedly :D All in all would recommend to anyone. They handle referrals in house etc too. So one stop shop! Apparently meds are coming in from Oregon though. So will be a bit of a wait while they make them up.

Weekly weigh in and measurement:

Weight: 248.0

Below: 43" Bust:46" Above: 45"
Waist: 41"
Hip: 48.5"
Neck: 16"
Shoulder width: 20"


Hope to have much improvement from here.

Waist training

So... Note to future self: put on socks and shoes BEFORE corset. Uh huh. Anyhow: first day of waist training aka tightlacing while at work. Broken this thing in slowly finally and today is my first 8 hour stint. Wish me luck.

Also have to be unshaved for a couple days for electrolysis not pleased about that either but whatevs. Not like im even part time yet haha

Edit: Made it! All 9 hours. Keep this up for a few months and I should see some results. :)

Electrolysis trouble

So apparently you need hair on your face to have electrolysis... fuck lmao. Need to reschedule my appt and start working om dat beard again. Something to keep in mind. I guess its different than Laser where you need to shave. Ffs.

Earrings etc

Got a cute earring last night. Was supposed to show it off in this pic but cant see it lmao inventory at work today. Fml xD

Weigh in this morning at 248.9...

In other news, struggling with the thought of when im going to tell my mom about any of this. Let alone friends. I have one friend in particular... make that two that would disown me on the spot. Trying to tell myself to get on with my own life but they have been lifelong friends amd id hate to lose them. #randomthoughts

Messing with makeup

Little bit of eye makeup playing haha. Love it. It's a lot of fun learning.

Dat corset doe

So I'll be uploading a photo a week, I guess monday is a good a day as any. Sporting m new waist training corset under this sweater haha, it's pretty comfy considering! Will post more detailed on that later.

Catching up

So here's the score:

Three months ago I was 283 pounds, depressed and hopeless.

Today I am 249 lbs and counting. I still have about 100 pounds to lose, but at this rate that should be early next year. A mixture of aerobic exercise and aggressive diet have been paying off. I'm eating about 1000 calories a day with very little carbohydrate intake at the moment, 1500 under my upkeep. Should be losing about 2-3 pounds a week. Excited!

A new beginning

Hello everyone, it's weird starting a blog. Something that I thought I'd never do, but then again maybe I'd just never done anything in my life yet that I thought was really worth sharing before now. My name is Ryan Brazil, I'm a 29 year old male living in California. I have a wonderful girlfriend, a decent job, a car that's paid off, and a good family life. I have no health issues and until recently have thought I could suppress a nagging feeling I've had most of my life: The fact that I feel like a woman in a man's body.

I thought "I'm too heavy, I'm too stocky, I'm just a man that's the way it is" etc. etc. But recently thanks to aforementioned wonderful girlfriend I am going to make an attempt to be all that I can be, but not by joining the army, haha but by starting male to female hormone replacement therapy. It's a big step, and I may be a little later than most at 29, but I've never been as determined to do something in my life, ever, and for the first time since I was much younger I am feeling the same joy of living at the thought of actually pulling this off.

Anyway, enough about me. The purpose of this blog is to chronicle my journey, not just for me but for other people who may have or still do have the same doubts that I once had. I'll be posting every step of the way, and look forward to sharing pieces of this already wonderful journey.